


Gerard and the Dragon

by Rionaa



Series: We'll Have To Make It On Our Own [5]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: 4th wall what 4th wall, Damsels in Distress, Dragons, Humour, M/M, knights in shining armour, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 09:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7430809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rionaa/pseuds/Rionaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to describe this...</p><p>I think I'll let this one speak for itself</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gerard and the Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally something I wrote for (and about) my friends, but I decided I liked it so much that I had to share it with you guys

Gerard looked around in surprise. He wasn't sure how he'd got here, because the author is a lazy piece of shit who couldn't be bothered writing an exposition. He seemed to be in some kind of cave, but it was not like any kind of cave he had ever seen before. The walls and floor were glittering, with what appeared to be gold, silver, and every kind of jewel imaginable. He reached down to pick up a handful in wonder, then realised that he was tied up, and suspended twenty feet above the ground. Really, the author ought to explain some of these things in a better order.

Gerard twisted his body from side to side, trying to loosen the rope around him. He regretted this almost instantly as the rope seemed instead to tighten, and he was sent spinning in a very slow revolution. Twenty minutes later when he came to a stop, he blinked, trying to clear his head from the dizziness that pervaded his eyesight, and attempted to take better stock of his surroundings. With a gasp, he realised that what he had taken to be a jewel encrusted wall, was in fact the scaly hide of a monstrous dragon.

"Um, help?" Gerard tried, sounding entirely unconvinced. The dragon raised its head and fixed him with a beady eye.

"Ah, Gerard. You finally decided to start the story, I see, although a little late if I may say so, as a lot of the plot has already happened, as I suppose you can guess."

"Who are you? What am I doing here? I don't remember how I got here, I didn't even exist two minutes ago until some author decided to just drop me in it!"

"Fair Gerard, I have taken you here as the jewel of my collection, my most prized possession, for thy beauty exceeds even the most precious diamond."

Gerard gave the dragon a highly unimpressed look. The dragon cleared his throat, then continued his tirade, undissuaded. "And as for who am I, my name is Bob, and I am a dragon."

"Uh, yeah, I had kind of gathered that..." Gerard grinned apologetically.

Bob growled and bared his teeth, but Gerard was largely unconcerned, because as he was a fictional interpretation, he was not real and therefore could not be harmed.

"So, what do I do here?" Gerard asked, conversationally, after a minute or two of silence.

"You just stay there and look pretty, and I can show you off to all my friends!" Bob curled up his scaly lip in what was doubtlessly supposed to be a grin.

"So that would be stay here until I die of boredom then..." Gerard thought, mouth quirking up in a slight smile.

Suddenly, there was a loud clattering, the sound of thousands of coins sliding, and a triumphant shout. "At last!" Thought Gerard, "Plot development!" 

Bob's head whipped around with a snarl to find the source of the noise. The intruder was a suit of armour of diminutive size. Bob gasped. "No! A knight in shining armour! My greatest weakness!"

As they watched, the suit of armour flipped up its face plate to reveal the face of Frank. Geard sighed in relief. "I'm so glad you're here! I thought it was going to be Ray or Mikey, and then I'd never get rescued!"

Frank smiled widely and brandished his sword. "Never fear, sweet maiden, for I am here to rescue you and defeat this foul dragon!"

"Hey!" Said Bob, "I'm not bad for a dragon, at least I haven't eaten your damsel in distress!"

"That's true, but I have to slay you, or at least smite you, that's the whole purpose of my character in this story."

"But what if I don't want to be smitten?" Bob asked, sounding hurt.

Gerard gasped at the blatant misuse of the past tense verb.  
"For that fell crime against grammar, I shall sever thy head from thy neck!" And Frank leapt forward, his sword flashing in the light of the jewels all around. Gerard gasped as the blade fell. "Hey, you should really find some better things for me to do than just gasp all the time." He thought to the author, who could read his thoughts because they were written down and came out of her imagination anyway.

Frank's sword sliced clean through the scales of the dragon's neck, his great, magnificent head falling to the ground, eyes still wide in shock. He wiped the blade clean on a nearby mound of gold. It didn't do much, because gold is not absorbent, but it left an impressive red stain on the shiny metal. Then he raised the sword above his head and cut through the rope that stretched from the ceiling to suspend Gerard above the ground. He raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was twenty feet above the ground?" He commented as he fell into Franks waiting arms.

"Yes but I'm only 5'4", I have limitations." He replied, as he set him back on his feet.

Gerard shrugged, deciding that the author, already proven to be inept, was incapable of consistency and hitherto never gave it mention again.

"Now that you've slain the dragon, what will become of all of his treasure?" Gerard queried.

Frank looked at him strangely. "Gerard, none of it is real, there's no point in doing anything with it."

"That's true, but neither are we, so what are we doing?"

Frank looked at him in horrified disbelief, then popped out of nonexistence. Gerard raised an eyebrow, then disappeared also. And the author, who has always been shit at endings, struggled to tie it up using words that sounded meaningful and profound, even though they had no meaning, or relevance to the story in any way.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/unexpected-readings-of-poetry)


End file.
